Saturday, 26 March 2016

Help your child achieve by taking an interest in their school lives.

Supporting your child at school

Children can achieve well at school when their family and friends take an interest in their school and schoolwork. Getting involved in your child’s education, even in the simplest way, shows that you care about their school life. Often, the more supported a child feels at home, the more effectively she or he will learn at school. Whatever your lifestyle, or family situation, it is never too soon (or too late) to start helping a child develop a positive attitude towards learning.

Family Lives appreciates that time can be a factor in busy families but there are ways of being involved in your child's education without feeling overwhelmed. If you are a non-resident parent, it is equally as important to be involved in your child's learning too. This can give your child far greater goals and inspire them to try their best where they can.

Helping your child get the best out of school

Try to give encouragement and show appreciation of your child’s achievements, whether great or small, as this can help boost their confidence. Teach them basic organisation and time management skills so they are not overwhelmed with projects or homework. Be realistic and avoid putting your child under pressure by having over-high expectations. Let your child develop at their own pace, but if you do have concerns, please speak to their teacher.

Try to give feedback rather than criticism, e.g. saying ‘that didn’t seem to work’ rather than ‘you got it wrong’. This helps them think about where they went wrong and how they can improve in future, rather than just feeling like a failure.

You might find contacting the school or talking to your child’s teachers difficult, or think they will not have time for you. But finding out more about their school life and what they are learning shows your child how much you care about their education. And getting to know the school and the teachers is the best way of finding out more.

Tips to help you keep up with what’s happening at the school

Make sure your child gives you any letters that are sent home.
Look out for notices and posters for parents.
If you can, check the school website.
Try to make it to the fun events, like school fairs, and to parents’ evenings.
If you are worried about anything, go and talk to a teacher. They will want to help.

Out of school support

Often parents like to introduce a variety of interests in and out of school too so children have the opportunity to explore other interests that they enjoy. Learn together, do things together, visit interesting places, talk about things you’ve seen on television and encourage your child to ask questions. Support their reading development by having books, magazines and newspapers in the home and let your child see you and other family members reading them.

When a child comes home from school, they may be tired so try not to fire too many questions of your child as soon as they walk through the door. They may be tired or hungry and not feel like talking. Be available to listen later if they want to talk.

Thinking ahead

Education is more than just maths, English and science. your child’s talents lie in sport, art, music, drama, computers, or anything else, you can always help them aim high by boosting their confidence:

Encourage them to join after-school clubs or activities.
Tell your child how proud you are when they do well.
Let them hear you praising them to other people.
Talk together about their future and the kind of job they think they would enjoy.
Ask them to help you with things they are good at.
Help your child to find someone to look up to; a relative, friend or celebrity.

If your child is struggling at school

If your child has Special Educational Needs (SEN), it is even more important to be involved so you can understand what support your child is receiving at school and whether he or she is on target. You can speak to their class teacher or the SENCO if your school has one. You may hear terms that are unfamiliar and if this is the case, you can always speak to the school or your Local Education Authority about what these mean. Your child may have an IEP (Individual Education Plan) which is reviewed on a quarterly basis. This will indicate what support your child needs and how this is being met by the school. These plans should be set with your involvement in a meeting with the teacher and SENCO. If your child does need extra help, find out from the school how he or she can be supported at home. This may be something as simple as allowing them to draw more often to help with fine motor skills, etc.

Helping your child make new friends

If your child is worried about making new friends or is having trouble with an existing group of friends, this can add to any existing anxieties they may have around school, or may even be the main cause of their concerns. For more tips, see our video on making new friends.

School and parents

Young people live and learn in two worlds – home and school. The way the two connect and communicate can make an enormous difference to how children learn to manage in both places. If teachers, parents and young people all trust, listen and talk to each other, the final goal of helping children learn and develop to their best ability is most likely to be achieved. You have a right to expect and ask for help. For more ideas on how to help children in school, visit Advisory Centre for Education (ACE).

This article is taken from Familylives.org.uk

We think this news story will be of interest to our visitors. However, please note it is from another source and does not necessarily represent the views of Oxondads. If you would like to comment on this article please click on the "No Comments" below or alternatively E-Mail info@oxondads.co.uk

New "Man Enough" course starting 20th April - Abingdon, Oxon

Dear Dads, Grand Fathers, Step Dads, Male Carers

7 week course: Wednesdays 7pm – 9pm
Next course: Wednesday 20th April 2016

South Abingdon Children Centre, Caldecott Chase Abingdon, OX14 5GZ

call 01235 555524 or email: abingdonreception@actionforchildren.org.uk

'Man Enough' is a 7 week parenting course for dads, based upon Family Caring Trust’s parenting programme for children one to five (‘Pram to Primary’) which covers: ignoring misbehaviour, training and encouraging responsibility, effective listening (empathy) and communication, respectful discipline, and quality time.

Over 15 years, Man Enough has tailored this programme for all types of male carers – including foster fathers, and those not living with their children. Facilitators' experience also includes teenagers, and children with disabilities, so the course can help carers of almost all children.

Dads have found the course useful, and in some cases life-changing. One dad "noticed my child's more loving towards me, as we play together now we've been on the course".

Another commented: “even though all the dads were from really different backgrounds, I relaxed and enjoyed it. We all had similar problems and it really helped me understand my kids and why they do the things they do.”

This course runs in the evening: no childcare is provided. There is no charge.

Contact Jayne/SACC admin &/or Lucinda Cave to complete Referral Form

More information on the attached document and also contact Mark.Ginsburg@oxfordshire.gov.uk

Happy Easter !

It's Easter weekend! But what are we celebrating on Good Friday, Easter Sunday and Easter Monday?

Bunnies, chocolate, egg decorating - what on earth is Easter all about?

When is Easter this year?

Easter Sunday falls on March 27 this year, with Good Friday on March 25, and Easter Monday on March 28.

Why do we celebrate Easter?

Easter is a Christian festival which celebrates the resurrection of Jesus Christ.

According to the New Testament, Jesus died on the cross on Good Friday, and came back to life three days later.

Crucifixion of Jesus: in the pilgrimage chapel Sanctuaire Notre-Dame des Fontaines, La Brigue CREDIT: ALAMY

His resurrection is celebrated on Easter Sunday, which also marks the end of Lent, the 40-day period of fasting which begins on Ash Wednesday.

Maundy Thursday is the Thursday before Good Friday and commemorates the Maundy and Last Supper of Jesus Christ with the Apostles

How are Easter dates decided? Why does the date move?

Well, the holiday is a moveable feast but it always falls somewhere between March 21 and April 25 every year.

It’s calculated as the first Sunday after the first full moon following the first day of spring. The full moon is known as the Paschal (Passover) Full Moon.

Methods for calculating Easter are fiendishly complicated, in a uniquely baffling synthesis of mathematics, astronomy and theology.

Because Christians believe that Jesus was crucified during the Jewish Passover festival, Easter is marked around that time.

Colorful eggs lie in Ilmpark at Goethe's garden house for an Easter egg hunt in the manner of Goethe in in Weimar, Germany, 24 March 2016. Goethe used to invite his friends' children and his grandchildren to hunt for eggs on Maundy Thursday — Colorful eggs lie in Ilmpark at Goethe's garden house for an Easter egg hunt in Weimar, Germany, Goethe used to invite his friends' children and his grandchildren to hunt for eggs on Maundy Thursday

But by the end of the 2nd Century different Christian groups were already marking it on separate dates.

The landmark Council of Nicea in 325AD, which set out the core Christian beliefs in a single creed, also attempted to standardise Easter.

Since then it has generally been accepted as falling on the first Sunday following the first full moon after the spring equinox - which the Church approximated as March 21.

But throughout the centuries disputes over the exact timing have been used as proxies for deeper power struggles.

It effectively set the course of the history of the British Isles at the Synod of Whitby in 664AD when the preferred date of the Roman, rather than the Celtic church, became the standard.

The decision is regarded as having brought Britain more firmly into the European sphere of influence – an issue still dominating the political agenda in the run up to the EU referendum.

Could Easter be held on the same date every year?

The Archbishop of Canterbury has suggested that Easter should fall on the same Sunday every year.

The Most Rev Justin Welby said that Anglican leaders would join discussions with other church leaders about the move to fix the date for the first time and put an end to almost 2,000 years of controversy.

The Archbishop of Canterbury, the Most Rev Justin Welby CREDIT: AP

The plan, which would schedule the Christian festival on the same Sunday each year, is expected to be welcomed by parents and schools but may anger traditionalists.

He said that Easter should most likely be fixed for the second or third Sunday of April.

What do eggs have to do with Easter?

Eggs illustrate new life, just as Jesus began his new life on East Sunday after the miracle of his resurrection.

When eggs are cracked open they are said to symbolise an empty tomb.

Originally eating eggs was forbidden in the week leading up to Easter (known as Holy Week). They were saved and decorated in the run-up to the celebration, and given to children as gifts.

Sometimes they were coloured red, in recognition of the blood sacrificed by Jesus when he was crucified. Green was also used to symbolise spring re-growth after the winter.

The first chocolate eggs appeared in France and Germany during the 19th century.

Where does the Easter Bunny fit in to all of this?

Rabbits and hares have been associated with spring since ancient times. It is thought that the Ango-Saxon Goddess of Spring, Eostre, had a hare as her companion, which symbolised fertility and rebirth.

It’s hardly surprising that rabbits and hares have become associated with fertility as they are both prolific breeders and give birth to large litters in early spring.

The legend of the Easter Bunny is thought to have originated among German Lutherans, where the ‘Easter Hare’ judged whether children had been good or bad in the run-up to Easter.

Over time it has become incorporated into Christian celebrations and became popular in Britain during the 19th century.

Many children believe that the Easter Bunny lays and hides baskets of coloured eggs, sweets and sometimes toys in their homes or around the garden the night before Easter Sunday – much like Father Christmas delivering gifts on Christmas Eve.

This has given rise to the tradition of the Easter egg hunt which is still popular among children today.

Hang your decorated eggs from branches arranged in a vase

Why do we eat hot cross buns?

A hot cross bun is a spiced, sweet bun marked with a cross on top. They are traditionally eaten on Good Friday.

The cross represents the crucifixion of Jesus, while the spices are said to remind Christians of the spices put on his body.

Hot cross buns appeared in the Oxford English Dictionary in 1733, but they have been around since before then.

Enriched, sweetened bread dough dates back to the Romans.

Long before Christianity, loaves and buns were baked with symbols on them, one of which was a cross.

Small, spiced cakes were also baked to honour the Saxon goddess Eoestre, and to celebrate spring, but it was the Tudors who began to link the spiced currant buns we know today with feast days, celebrations and eventually Lent.

How is Easter celebrated around the world?

In many central and eastern European countries decorating eggs in beautiful patterns is especially popular.

In Switzerland, Easter eggs are delivered by a cuckoo and a fox in some areas of Germany.

The egg-giving tradition arrived in the United States in the 18th century brought by protestant German immigrants in the Pennsylvania Dutch area.

A German Happy Easter postcard from 1903

Barack and Michelle Obama attending the annual White House Easter Egg Roll on the South Lawn Photo: AFP

On Easter Monday, the President of the United States holds an annual Easter egg roll on the lawn of the White House for young children.

In the Republic of Ireland and in Northern Ireland it is a day of remembrance for the men and women who died in the Easter Rising which began on Easter Monday 1916.

This article is taken from The Telegraph.co.uk

We think this news story will be of interest to our visitors. However, please note it is from another source and does not necessarily represent the views of Oxondads. If you would like to comment on this article please click on the "No Comments" below or alternatively E-Mail info@oxondads.co.uk

Friday, 18 March 2016

Date for the Diary : Sat 19th March - Disco Dadz is coming to The Leys Childrens Centre !

Dad - I bet you look good on the Dance Floor !

Calling all Dads, Uncles, Grand dads & male carers.

Break out the spandex & gold medallions !

Disco Dadz are coming to The Leys Childrens Centre on

Saturday 20th February from 10.30 - 12.30

for a fun session of dancing, games, prizes, face painting and D-I-S-C-O !

Come along with your child from birth to five years & siblings of primary school age.

Hope to see you all cutting shapes on the dance floor !

Directions to the Leys Childrens Centre : HERE

12 Ways to Win at Life After Divorce.

How to Stop Obsessing & Start Living When It’s Finally Over

Recovering from a divorce or break up is never easy. Try these 12 tips to shift your mind-set from starting over to rocking on.

—

When a marriage finally ends and both husband and wife have signed divorce papers on the dotted line, something counter-intuitive happens.

Starting from scratch in our 30s, 40s or 50s is not what any of us signed up for when we rented the beautiful catering hall and sent out wedding invitations.

There is feeling of soaring release, followed by a crash back down to Earth concluding in a hollow echoing sound of “Now what? I am ecstatic to be divorced — why do I feel so damn depressed?”

Starting from scratch in our 30s, 40s or 50s is not what any of us signed up for when we rented the beautiful catering hall and sent out wedding invitations. We mourned the demise of our relationship with our spouse as it was happening — during couples counseling sessions, while crying alone in bed at night when he or she moved into a separate bedroom, and through so many other difficult — if not brutal — times.

Then the divorce starts — and it takes more concentrated adrenaline, focus and brain-power than most of us have ever before used in our lives. It isn’t until that process ends that anyone can afford to stand back and look at the wreckage of the dream we thought we were walking down the aisle toward.

Next to the word “surreal” in the dictionary, there could easily be a picture of a newly divorced mind’s inner-workings.

♦◊♦

This shock-and-awe doesn’t have to last forever. Here are 12 effective ways to shift your mind-set past the post-divorce blues.

1. Speak your truth.

In most unhealthy marriages, at some point one or both of you shut down. You stopped communicating what you really felt — about everything. Now is the time to start stretching those trust muscles. Trust yourself to know what you believe, feel what you feel, and express yourself openly with kindness.

2. Stop acting so surprised.

When your ex sends you a nasty message about your parenting, is it really a surprise?
When you realize that 25 year-old woman was just looking for a few free drinks for herself and friends, is it really surprise?
When the guy who said he will never cheat on anyone again cheats on you, is it really a surprise?

You’ve been living in the real world for awhile now. Stop feigning surprise and make decisions based on what you can most likely expect.

Now is the time to start stretching those trust muscles. Trust yourself to know what you believe, feel what you feel, and express yourself openly with kindness.

3. Figure out who you are — for now.

The idea that you should take time for yourself before you get involved with anyone else is a false premise (in my mostly-humble opinion).

Our personalities, interests, careers, needs, and wants stay in constant flux throughout our lifetime. Getting in touch with yourself is not a one shot deal, but rather a lifetime practice that you will need in times when you are single, and times when you are coupled. Look inward, but don’t keep your nose in there too long or you might get stuck.

4. If the idea excites you, try it!

A divorce is one of the single most frightening experiences anyone can endure, and you endured it! (If yours isn’t final, I promise that at some point it will actually be over, impossible as that may seem.) What could you possibly be afraid of now? There is a good chance that your marriage didn’t succeed because you entered it seeking to make the “right” choices, rather than the choices that spoke to the core of your soul.

So stop it. Stop looking for the safe, the secure and the correct life path and take on those challenges and opportunities that make you hum with satisfaction and pride.

5) Let it go.

There things about my former marriage that I could still complain about. I can pretty much guarantee that won’t change anything that’s happened — or improve my life in any way at all.

When I think of closure, I imagine my computer’s home screen with a zillion tabs open, making it difficult to find and access the specific tab I need most immediately. Many of these tabs are open only because I might forget them if I let them drop. When I think about it, I realize that if I never find that closed tab again, I didn’t need it in the first place. Start closing the tabs in your mind that relate to resentments from your marriage. If you really need them, you can access them later. Most likely, you’ll feel more streamlined and effective.

6) Own your mistakes. And stop owning the mistakes other’s attempt to cast off on you.

I’m sure you’ve heard that women apologize more often necessary. In working with divorcing individuals, I find the same is true of men.

Most people who have been on the receiving end of abuse or manipulation have apologized not only for their own less than ideal moments, but for those of their partner for the sake of keeping — or regaining — the peace. Owning responsibility for your errors is a crucial part of being a healthy person. Keep that up! But you don’t need to apologize for something that you did not do, say, cause, think, express, or manifest in any other way.

What could you possibly be afraid of now? There is a good chance that your marriage didn’t succeed because you entered it seeking to make the “right” choices, rather than the choices that spoke to the core of your soul.

7) Release the idea of staying friends with those who have grown distant.

Unfortunately, this urban legend of divorce holds true: once their divorce is final, many people find themselves quickly and silently abandoned by friends they thought would stick by them until the end. I have yet to understand why, but humans are sometimes nasty animals and your time is far better spent seeking out people who get you than trying to understand those who dropped you when you needed them most.

Allow yourself to mourn the loss, which is often much more painful than the loss of the marriage itself, and accept that you have no power to change anyone else’s lack of empathy, humanity or reliability.

8) Find a virtual community.

It would be ideal if we could snap our fingers and find a local group of brand new friends with plenty of free time to hang out, bond, and play as we set out on the Yellow Brick Road of life as a divorced single. Unfortunately, real life makes it hard to find a new, solid group of local friends once your kids are past elementary school age without an extremely concerted effort.

In the more immediate present, make the most of social media and Internet-based opportunities to reconnect with old friends, meet and chat with others in the same life stage, and share discussions based around your interests. You will not only meet some amazing people you would otherwise never have encountered, you will likely think of new local connections as well.

9) Figure out what makes you laugh and do that.

For me, it is Louis CK, ridiculous YouTube videos, silly memes and — strange as it seems even to me — some of my kids’ favorite TV shows. You know what hits your personal funny bone. Watch, read or do it A LOT.

Men can hurt you. Women can hurt you. Children can hurt you. Lovers, friends, business associates, strangers — we are all walking potential land mines. Bummer, I know, but oh well.

10) Cut the crap about being SO old.

If I hear one more person in their 40’s or 50’s tell me “I’m just soooo old now,” I may just flip my junk. We are not old people! Keep telling yourself that, and you will become so. Keep telling others you are, and they will believe so. I would prefer to stay young and be seen that way. Trite as it sounds, this one actually is a state of mind.

11) Date! Have sex! Get out there!

You may not ever want to get married again. You may not feel you can trust yourself, let alone anyone else, but so what? What’s the worst that could happen to you next? Another divorce? OK.

We end an unhealthy marriage so that we could lead a more healthy and satisfying life. We are social beings. Even introverts do best with at least some human contact — both physical and emotional — with others. I wish it were possible to find love and companionship without risking getting hurt, but I haven’t figured out how to make that so.

Men can hurt you. Women can hurt you. Children can hurt you. Lovers, friends, business associates, strangers — we are all walking potential land mines. Bummer, I know, but oh well. Staying alone in your shell is never going to change any of that or make it better, but finding some good friends — and maybe even a life partner — can sure make it all feel a lot more worthwhile.

12) Allow yourself your feelings. Just not 24/7/365.

A client recently told me her therapist reminds her frequently to “Stop being a Debbie Downer and be a Penny Positive instead!” I may appear cynical, but I almost tossed my non-fat latte.

Whether you were the one to file for divorce or the one who didn’t want it, no one gets through even the most amicable divorce unscathed emotionally. If you stuff down your despair all the time and for everyone, including yourself, you will leave your emotions with nowhere to go other than headed toward Complete Melt-Down Road.

Just don’t let yourself feel it all the time or you spiral down farther than you ever could have imagined it possible to go. When you find yourself over-thinking, over-napping, or over-Netflixing, accept your real need to rest your emotional energy, and give yourself reasonable parameters for how long you will let yourself veg out before you make yourself get up and do at least one productive activity.

This article is taken from The Good Men Project

The importance of grandparents and their contribution in the children's lives

Grandparents and family life

Grandparents have a special relationship with their grandchildren but like all relationships this may change over time. At times it may seem that you see less of them especially as they develop their own interests. And sometimes you may not agree with the interests that they are taking up! You may have regrets about your own children, or about your relationship with them. You may be hoping to get it right with your grandchildren and feel upset if this is not happening. Try not to criticise or impose your views. Rather take an interest, listen to them, talk about your values and help them to build their confidence as young adults. At Family Lives we receive emails from grandparents who want to step in when their own children aren’t coping so well, but also question their right to do so, even when they have been very hands-on with their grandchildren’s care and upbringing.

“I have a daughter who turned 18 this month, she has a three month old baby and I have had to contact Social Services twice already as she wasn't looking after him properly […] What can we do? We are his grandparents and love him dearly.”

These issues can put a huge strain on relationships within the family. If there is constant arguing or you’re not seeing your grandchildren as often, children will notice that there is something wrong. Younger children may not understand why they can’t spend more time with you or why everyone isn’t getting on, whilst older children and teenagers may feel that they want to make their own decisions about who they spend time with or even live with.

“My son says that they can no longer stay, which is okay, he is the father but when I ask to see the boys, one minute it is yes and then later he will change and say no. The boys are frightened of him and I want to know what rights I have. The eldest boy is nearly ten so I have been having them for a long time.”

Try to create a balance where you are on hand when your children or grandchildren really need your support, but know when to hold back when you can see that they’re not happy or comfortable with your involvement.

What can you give your grandchildren to help them out?

Be supportive. Tell them how much you love them, how hard they try and how much you value them.
Listen when they talk and be there when they need you.
Help parents and children to talk to each other.
Enjoy them!

What can you give your children to help them out?

Give practical help – offer to babysit, shop, cook a meal, take the children for a weekend so they can all have a break.

Offer a listening ear - your children may want to tell you about their triumphs and joys, so welcome them when they do. But parenting is a tough job and there are times when they may need a good moan. Be prepared to hear about anger, sadness, jealousy and uncertainty as well as pride and love.

If you’re not sure what they need, ask!

Don’t judge or criticise your children or their partners, or your grandchildren. Instead, give credit where and when it’s due. You’ll find them far happier to come for help if you do.

"We only saw our grandchildren one weekend a month. They seemed so busy with friends and school work, and our daughter never had the time to bring them over. I thought it through and then suggested she might find it helpful if they came to us every Friday for their tea before going to their swimming club, which was near us. They all thought this a wonderful idea."

You’ve been there, done that and got the t-shirt, which is why you may feel inclined to advise your children in family life issues. They may appreciate your advice or perhaps even resent it, if this is the case try to think back, didn’t you just hate your own parents doing that? As a grandparent, share your experiences with your children as people learn best by hearing ideas and then being supported to try it for themselves.

This article was taken from Familylives.org