A Tribute to Albert Ford

Albert Ford (November 2nd 1944 – May 30th 2012)

Albert at the launch of the Oxondads.co.uk website launch 2011

Initially, parenting didn’t come naturally to Albert. Like most of us, he had to learn the hard way - from his mistakes, some of which, to his sadness, he couldn’t make up for. He put it down to experience which he had to learn from. This typified his approach to life, and parenting in particular. Life is about learning and learning is a choice that each individual has to make for themselves.
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Albert grew up in New York in the 1950’s. Family life was difficult, with an alcoholic father and a mentally ill mother. As a teenager he learned to take drugs, and continued this habit through school, the air force and while he served in Vietnam. It was only when one of his 3 brothers died of an overdose that Albert knew the time had come for him to stop and he went into rehabilitation. He chose the toughest way out – the cold turkey, but pulled himself through at the third attempt.

For Albert therapy triggered off an overwhelming longing for his father (alas by then his father had died) and he realised that just how important he was to his twin boys—he didn't want them to miss out on the same he had. So he cut down his work commitments attended several parenting courses. One of these was Rosie Hill’s course based on the Veritas programme. So taken was he by its structure and message that he adapted it to suit fathers. He called it, ‘Man Enough’ – a play on the term ‘a good enough parent’. Leaflets advertising course used to say: Are you good enough or Man Enough?
It worked and hundreds of dads have attended the course since 1998.

Albert also took the course into Bullingdon Prison, a Young Offender Institution and a drug rehabilitation centre with similar success. It was Albert’s personal touch, nurturing the group, keeping in touch before, during and after the course that was critical to its success. Albert’s personal background gave him great humility when working with parents. He would never judge anyone or give advice. It was up to them to make their own choices based on what they have learned. He was always present at his course to ensure its particular style of delivery. This creates a particular challenge for those among us who would like to keep his work going.

For Albert it wasn’t simply about fathers learning parenting skills, he wanted them to develop confidence and self-awareness in their role as fathers. Albert believed strongly that men simply do not appreciate how important they are—physically and emotionally—to their children, a misapprehension society underlines with its emphasis on motherhood as the prime parenting force.

Not only was Albert a good practitioner, he was also a great visionary. He realised that there were thousands of other dads, together or separated, around the country feeling denied the chance to be involved in their children’s lives. Albert wanted dads to feel they could bring up their children on an equal footing with their mothers, sharing the excitement of growing, playing and learning together.

Albert was one of the earliest and probably the most powerful advocates for fathers in this county. His influence, his prodding encouragement and assertive argument have made a real impact on the practices of parent educators, children’s centres and health professionals.

Albert leaves behind many grateful fathers, families and who have been touched and inspired by his message, his warmth, his kindness and his passion. Some of these fathers and workers are determined to keeping Albert’s vision alive. We hope that OPF can play a part in making this happen.