How To Argue Better - Or Should that be Less ?

The verb “to argue” is commonly viewed in a negative light however arguments can often be used positively when dealt with in the right way. By knowing how to argue constructively you can learn a lot about one another and how to sort out conflict when it comes around. Arguments require a level of trust, confidence and security. These are all attributes of a good, healthy relationship.

Our friends at oneplusone have offered these tips for us to share with you around how to argue better.

Key points

·         Recognise when it is not a good time to talk

·         Resist blaming and criticising

·         Respect your partner's view

·         Stop - when it is going nowhere

What works?

In relationships where conflict is dealt with successfully:

*       Positive feelings outweigh negative feelings and behaviour

*       Partners can stop conflict escalating

*       Potential damage caused by conflict is reduced

Getting the timing right

Try to choose a time when your partner is most receptive, and neither partner is tired.

Approaching the issue gently

Try not to start with a negative or hostile comment.

Knowing the difference between a complaint and a personal criticism

Choosing words carefully focusing on behaviour not personality or character.

Tackling issues as they come up

Not letting things fester or bottle up.

Knowing each other's buttons and what not to push

Tread gently when on sensitive ground.

Understanding that an argument can be a symptom of other things

Make some allowances for outside stresses or deeper issues that can affect how either partner feels and behaves.

Seeing where the other partner is coming from

Respect each other's point of view, even if ideas or feelings are different.

Not seeing it as a battle to be won or lost

Arguments are about finding solutions to differences not just getting your own way. Take turns to have a say and be prepared to compromise.

Not second guessing

Listening to what the other partner is really saying instead of making assumptions.

Learning what helps to stop things escalating

Get to know the small things that can be said or done when things are getting heated, perhaps using humour, acknowledging what your partner is saying, saying you're sorry they are upset.

Accepting perpetual problems

Every couple will have some issues that are too difficult to resolve, so trying will only lead to frustration, anger and "gridlock." What seems to work is being able to "make peace" with the problem by communicating acceptance of their partner and using humour and affection.

This article is taken from DadInfo

We think this news story will be of interest to our visitors. However, please note it is from another source and does not necessarily represent the views of Oxondads.  If you would like to comment on this article please click on the "No Comments" below or alternatively E-Mail  info@oxondads.co.uk