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20th December 2014 - Things To Do Over The Weekend, In & Around Oxfordshire

To find out what is on over the weekend via "Daily Info, Oxford" please click  HERE

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Mens' Mental Health - Some Facts from the Movember Charity Organisation

THE HAIRY FACTS

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OVERVIEW

Mental health and wellbeing is equally important as physical wellbeing. It is now well documented that they are interlinked and many of the things that help with our physical health (e.g. physical activity/exercise) also improve our mental health. 

Mental health problems in men can often go undetected or untreated. The reasons for this are numerous and complex but can often be attributed to a lack of awareness that there is a problem in the first place.  Men may not be able to recognise or confidently articulate the signs and symptoms that they experience. There is additional pressure due to associated stigma (shame and embarrassment) preventing them from taking action and accessing mental health services.  Some men can instead engage in risk taking behaviour to numb or avoid the real problems they face. To many men, being “manly” means not admitting any vulnerabilities or expressing emotions. However, men are not alone in what they are experiencing; the facts below show that men’s mental health problems should not be ignored:

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TYPES OF MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES

Mental health problems encompass a multitude of conditions and can have different symptoms and require different treatments. Here are some of the major types of mental health problems affecting men: 

1. Depression
2. Anxiety
3. Bipolar disorder
4. Psychosis and Schizophrenia
5. Eating disorders

DEPRESSION

Depression affects how you think and feel about yourself. The good news is, just like a physical illness, depression can be managed with effective treatment. 

Signs and symptoms can include all or some of the below: 

• Lack of interest in work, hobbies and doing things you normally enjoy
• Low energy levels and lack of motivation
• Trouble sleeping
• Sleeping too much
• Lack of concentration
• Increased anxiety 
• Anger or irritability

Who is at risk? 

Some major events or situations have been linked with depression while others also contribute to increasing the risk for men:

Major Risk Factors Previous experience of depression and/or anxiety Drug and alcohol use Serious medical illness (physical or mental) Isolation or loneliness Unemployment Poverty / Homelessness

Other Risk Factors Stress (work / financial / life) Partner going through pregnancy and the first 12 months of fatherhood Lack of physical exercise Family history of depression Conflict (family / political)






















It’s important to remember that each person is different and it is often a combination of factors that puts a person at risk of depression


ANXIETY



Mixed anxiety is one of the most common mental health conditions in the UK. This is more than just feeling stressed or worried. While stress and anxious feelings are a common response to a situation where a person feels under pressure, it usually passes once the stressful situation has passed, or ‘stressor’ is removed. An anxiety disorder may be present when these anxious feelings don't subside and are ongoing and exist without any particular reason or cause. This makes it hard for a person to cope with daily life. We all feel anxious from time to time, but for a person experiencing an anxiety disorder, these feelings cannot be easily controlled. There are numerous different types of anxiety disorders, including social phobia, generalised anxiety disorder, specific phobias, obsessive compulsive disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder and panic disorder. 

Signs and symptoms can include all or some of the below: 

• Hot and cold flushes
• Racing heart
• Tightening of the chest
• Snowballing worries
• Obsessive thinking and compulsive behaviour

Who is at risk?

Often it’s a combination of factors that can lead to a person developing anxiety. Some triggers include:

• Family history of mental health problems
• Stressful life events
• Physical health problems
• Heavy or long-term use of substances such as alcohol, cannabis, amphetamines or sedatives
• Personality factors – some research suggests certain personality traits are more likely to have anxiety
• Avoiding particular situations (e.g. work meetings, leaving the house, social situations)

BIPOLAR DISORDER

People with bipolar disorder (formerly known as manic-depressive illness) experience extreme moods — very high and over-excited (manic) or very low (depressed). The person may be affected so much that he or she experiences the symptoms of psychosis, and is unable to distinguish what is real. The symptoms generally respond well to treatment, and most people with bipolar disorder recover well from episodes of the illness.


Symptoms may vary with some people experiencing both extremes:

• Feeling high, over-excited and reckless, or imagine that they are more important or influential than they are in real life.
• Feeling extremely low, feeling helpless and depressed, with difficulty making decisions or concentrating. 
• Behaving in an uncharacteristically irrational or risky manner.

Who is at risk? 

No one knows for sure what causes bipolar disorder; most likely it is a combination of genes and other factors. Research shows that a person’s genes play a strong role, making the person more vulnerable to life events such as stress, alcohol or drug use or lack of sleep. Changes in a person’s routine or excessive stimulation may also trigger a manic episode.

PSYCHOSIS AND SCHIZOPHRENIA

When someone experiences psychosis they are unable to distinguish what is real — there is a loss of contact with reality. Most people are able to recover from an episode of psychosis. The causes of psychosis are not fully understood. Schizophrenia is a medical condition which interferes with a person’s ability to think, feel and act. Most people with schizophrenia find that their symptoms improve and they are able to manage future episodes. 

Symptoms:

• Confused thinking
- when acutely ill, people with psychotic symptoms experience disordered thinking. The everyday thoughts that let us live our daily lives become confused and don’t join up properly.
• Delusions
- a false belief held by a person, which is not held by others of the same cultural background.
• Hallucinations - the person sees, hears, feels, smells or tastes something that is not actually there. The hallucination is often of disembodied voices which no one else can hear

EATING DISORDERS

Male eating disorders are on the rise with increasing rates of body dissatisfaction amongst men. An eating disorder is characterised by obsessive thoughts about food and body weight. This includes people who limit the amount of food they eat (anorexia nervosa), eat lots of food in a very small time and then purge (bulimia) or overeat often (compulsive overeating).

Societal messages which factor in men developing an eating disorder:

• Males should only have one body type
• You are what you look like 
• Males need to be in control
• Eating disorders are not masculine

Warning signs more likely to occur in males signaling the onset or presence of an eating disorder:

• Preoccupation with body building, weight lifting or muscle toning
• Weight lifting when injured
• Lowered testosterone
• Anxiety/stress over missing workouts
• Muscular weakness
• Decreased interest in sex, or fears around sex
• Possible conflict over gender identity or sexual orientation
• Using anabolic steroids

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TAKE ACTION
How can you take action if you or someone you know experiences mental health problems?
The most important first step is to talk to someone about what you’re going through.  Whether it’s your doctor, your family, your friends, or an anonymous person on a support line – advice and effective tools are available. Different health professionals can provide different types of services, treatments such as psychological or drug therapy and further assistance to help people on the road to recovery.  It’s very important to find the right mental health professional to suit your individual needs.

Additional support and information is available through:

• NHS Mental Health Services provides information on services available for anyone concerned with mental health problems.
• Mind provides information and support to make sure no has to face a mental health problem alone.
• Samaritans provides a 24-hour confidential service to discuss any difficult issues and find a way through the problems.
• Calm seeks to prevent male suicide offering support to men in the UK, of any age, who are down or in crisis via the Calm helpline and website.
• Papyrus aims to reduce stigma associated with suicide and increase awareness of young suicide through telephone, SMS and email advice services.

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To request a copy of our references, please contact references@movember.com.

This article is taken from Movember

We think this news story will be of interest to our visitors. However, please note it is from another source and does not necessarily represent the views of Oxondads.  If you would like to comment on this article please click on the "No Comments" below or alternatively E-Mail  info@oxondads.co.uk

How To Get Your Baby To Sleep - Tips

Struggling to get your baby to sleep? Read these great tips to help your baby sleep better.

Getting enough sleep is vital to maintaining a happy and relaxed family environment. Naturally this can be a little tricky when a baby arrives so here are a few tips to help your baby sleep that I used as a nanny many moons ago.

How does it work?

Awake window

When your baby is very little, he or she can only really stay awake for one and a half hours, before he or she is overtired and struggles to go to sleep. As baby gets older, the awake period stretches to 2 hours and when baby is close to a year, you may find that there is even a 3 – 4 hour stretch between sleeps. Every baby is different, so try not to worry about what the ‘books or experts’ say your baby should be doing, there will be a way that works for you and your baby.

Sleep cycles

A baby has a 45 minute sleep cycle which is a lot shorter than adults. As your baby comes into light sleep more frequently, baby will wake if he or she is too hot, too cold, has a tummy pain or is already overtired.

Overtiredness

When your baby doesn’t get enough sleep, baby will produce chemicals to stay awakes, much like the adrenaline you produce when you start working 16 hour days to get a project finished. When this over production becomes your baby’s norm, it is hard to settle, relax and go to sleep. Where possible, try to avoid your baby becoming overtired in the first place. Sleep deprivation is accumulative, so your baby needs to catch up on sleep lost before he or she is on a level playing field. It is not wise to ‘keep your baby awake when he or she is tired’. This unsettles your baby’s natural sleep pattern and will set you up for a dependency on ‘expert’ help as you will need each stage assessed and tweaked. 

Sleep and feeding

Feeding can really throw a spanner in the works as you want to be sure that your baby is getting enough food. Sometimes this can affect baby’s sleep pattern adversely, so a good way to think of feeding and sleep is to create a credit account for each which you try to balance. If you deposit feeding time into the feeding account, you want to deposit sleep into the sleep account. If your baby feeds a lot in the morning, allow him or her to sleep more in the afternoon. If your baby sleeps all morning, expect him or her to feed all afternoon. If your baby sleeps all night, expect him or her to feed more during the day.

Do routines work?

Yes they do. Routines give you some idea of when you should think about getting your baby to sleep – if you keep missing the sleep or feeding cues your baby gives you. There is nothing wrong with having a routine. The negative association is more in line with leaving a baby to cry for hours on end, alone in their crib when every fibre in your body tells you to go in soothe and calm your baby. Control crying is unnecessary as you can achieve the same results in gentler ways. 

Some babies however, will just cry for 5 to 10 minutes before they go to sleep, regardless of whether you are rocking them, soothing them in their crib or leaving them alone to work it out for themselves. Love nor money seems to make any difference to these little friends, so if this is what your baby does, know that this is just normal for them.

Routines provide your baby with a recognisable structure to their day. This can be a huge relief for them as they can’t always successfully communicate their needs to you. If you are struggling to get your baby to sleep, start with a little structure, then build it up during the day if your baby is still young. If your little one is older, you may find that it is better to have a blanket routine throughout the day. 

Newborns  to 12 weeks generally sleep after each feed

3 months to 6 months you may see that sleeps become shorter, especially if baby is sleeping well at night.

6 months to 12 months you may find that baby does one big sleep and maybe 2 short sleeps

12 months plus you may find that baby does one big sleep but the time of that sleep changes depending on your days activity.

Create your own routine

To start creating your own routine, pop your baby into bed 1.5 – 2 hours from when he or she wakes. If your baby seems sleepy before this time – get them into bed, especially if they have not been sleeping well. The more your baby sleeps, the better your baby will sleep moving forward as less stimulating chemicals are produced. Once you have done this for a couple of days, you will get a better idea of whether your baby is a morning sleeper or afternoon sleeper – sleep is not always evenly spread over the course of the day.

Find a pattern

You may find that your baby is easier to settle after morning feeds and harder to settle in the afternoon. This may be due to milk supply, available to your baby or it can be that baby is overtire by the afternoon and just can’t think straight – try feeding lying down or settling sooner than the 1.5 - 2 hours.

You may find that the evening is a nightmare. Start a wind down routine from 5pm – 6pm with a feed, nappy off time, bath and then feed again in a darkened room. Don’t worry about putting your baby to sleep early if you can see that he or she is tired. The better rested your baby is, the easier baby will go to sleep.

Keep tweaking until you find what works for your baby

Once you have your timings and an idea of your baby’s sleep pattern, keep tweaking the timings until you get it right. If you put your baby down and she cries for 30 minutes on and off without going to sleep – put her down 15 minutes earlier. If your baby chats in his or her crib for 40 minutes before going to sleep, pop baby down 15 minutes later. You are your baby’s expert. Lovely people like Jo Tantum can help, based on their years of experience, to find a routine that works for you by recognising patterns and signs your baby gives.

Quick case study

I remember one baby in particular, her name was Lola – the cutest little thing with jet black spiky hair, the worst reflux ever (cried 24/7) and who was a difficult little friend to coax to sleep. She cried for 10 mins before she would just drop off and go to sleep which was heart-breaking. I tried tweaking the times, rocking, soothing, spaced soothing where you go in to baby - soothe – leave and repeat every minute to 2 minutes until baby starts calming then you stretch the time before going back in. One night she just looked tired. She had woken and fed at 4pm but by 5pm she was crying. I did a quick top and tail, changed her into her jim jams, swaddled her and put her to bed. She slept for 8 hours, woke fed and then slept for another 5. It was the best sleep she had ever had and from there, sleeping became a lot easier. She still cried her little heart out, bless her, but she did go to sleep and was happy and well rested when she was awake.

Geraldine Miskin Founder of The Miskin method and Breastfeeding Experience app.

This article is taken from Dadzclub

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22 Discipline Ideas for Dads.

When it comes to disciplining your kids, it helps to have some idea, or plan, for how you will handle it.  Here is a list of 22 discipline ideas for dads.

1. Be firm.

Set reasonable limits, explain them, and enforce them.

2. Be consistent.

Your child will learn to adapt to inconsistencies between you and your wife/mother of your child: if you allow jumping on the bed but she doesn’t, for example, the child will do it when he’s with you and won’t when he’s with your wife/mother of your child. However, if you allow jumping one day and prohibit it the next, you’ll only confuse your child and undermine your attempts to get him to listen when you ask him to do something.

3. Compromise.

Kids can’t always tell the difference between big and little issues. So give in on a few small things once in a while (an extra piece of birthday cake at the end of a long day might avoid a tantrum). That will give the child a feeling of control and will make it easier for him to go along with the program on the bigger issues (holding hands while crossing the street, for example).

4. Be assertive and specific.

“Stop throwing your food now” is much better than “cut that out!”

5. Give choices.

Kathryn Kvols, author of Redirecting Children’s Behavior, suggests, for example, that if your child is yanking all the books off a shelf in the living room, you say, “Would you like to stop knocking the books off the shelf or would you like to go to your room?” If he ignores you, gently but firmly lead the child to his room and tell him he can come back into the living room when he’s ready to listen to you.

6. Cut down on the warnings.

If the child knows the rules, impose the promised consequences immediately. If you make a habit of giving six preliminary warnings and three “last” warnings before doing anything, your child will learn to start responding only the eighth or ninth time you ask.

7. Link consequences directly to the problem behavior.

And don’t forget–clearly and simply–to explain what you’re doing and why: “I’m taking away your hammer because you hit me,” or “I asked you not to take that egg out of the fridge and you didn’t listen to me. Now you’ll have to help me clean it up.”

8. No banking.

If you’re imposing punishments or consequences, do it immediately. You can’t punish a child at the end of the day for something (or a bunch of things) he did earlier–he won’t associate the undesirable action and its consequence.

9. Keep it short.

Once the punishment is over (and whatever it is it shouldn’t last any more than a minute per year of age), get back to your life. There’s no need to review, summarize, or make sure the child got the point.

10. Stay calm.

Screaming, ranting, or raving can easily cross the line into verbal abuse that can do long-term damage to your child’s self-esteem.

11. Get down to your child’s level.

When your talking to your child-especially to criticize–kneel or sit. You’ll still be big enough that he’ll know who the boss is.

12. Don’t lecture.

Instead, ask questions to engage the child in a discussion of the problematic behavior: “Is smoking cigars okay for kids or not?” “Do you like it when someone pushes you down in the park?”

13. Criticize the behavior, not the child.

Even such seemingly innocuous comments as “I’ve told you a thousand times…” or “Every single time you…” gives the child the message that he’s doomed to disappointing you no matter what he does.

14. Reinforce positive behavior.

We spend so much time criticizing negatives and not enough time complimenting the positives. Heartfelt comments like “I’m so proud of you when I see you cleaning up your toys,” go a long way.

15. Play games.

“Let’s see who can put the most toys away” and “I bet I can put my shoes on before you can” are big favorites. But be sure not to put away more toys or to put your shoes on first–kids under five have a tough time losing.

16. Avoid tantrums.

Learn to recognize the things that trigger your child’s tantrums. The most common include exhaustion, overstimulation, hunger, and illness. Keeping those factors to a minimum will go a long way toward reducing tantrums.

17. Never spank in anger.

Yes, we said the s-word. We know parents have strong feelings both for and against this type of discipline, but for some children it is effective when nothing else is. The key to successful spanking is knowing how and when to apply it. Never spank your child when you’re angry or upset. Wait until you’ve calmed down from the situation at hand so that, when you spank, you are acting rather than reacting. Explain to your child that this will be the consequence of certain behaviors, and remind him of the reason for the discipline before you administer the spanking. Spank your child only on the behind, and let this only be one of the methods of correction in your bag—not the sum total of your discipline strategy.

18. No shaking.

It may seem like a less violent way of expressing your frustrations than spanking, but it really isn’t. Shaking your baby can make his little brain rattle around inside his skull, possibly resulting in brain damage.

19. No bribes.

It’s tempting to pay a child off to get him to do or not do something. But the risk–and it’s a big one–is that he will demand some kind of payment before complying with just about anything.

20. Be a grown-up.

Biting your child or pulling his hair to demonstrate that biting or hitting is wrong or doesn’t feel good will backfire. Guaranteed.

21. Offer cheese with that whine.

Tell your child that you simply don’t respond to whining and that you won’t give him what he wants until he asks in a nice way–and stick with it.

22. Set a good example.

If your child sees you and your wife/mother of your child arguing without violence, he’ll learn to do the same. If he sees you flouting authority by running red lights, he’ll do the same.

Huddle up with your kids tonight and ask: “Why do you think consequences are important when you do something wrong?  What would happen if you didn’t have any consequences?”

Related Resources:

• 10 More Ways to Discipline Your Child
• 3 Discipline Basics
• How to Make Discipline a Positive Experience

This article is taken from All Pro Dad

We think this news story will be of interest to our visitors. However, please note it is from another source and does not necessarily represent the views of Oxondads.  If you would like to comment on this article please click on the "No Comments" below or alternatively E-Mail  info@oxondads.co.uk

Most fathers 'don’t want shared parental leave’

As new laws extending paternity leave come into force, study shows strong opinion against two parents sharing equal time off.

Three quarters of British men oppose sharing parental leave equally, despite legislation aimed at helping new fathers stay at home for longer, a study claims.

From Monday, employers must offer shared parental leave of up to 50 weeks for children born after April 1, 2015.

Instead of the usual fortnight, fathers will be able to take nearly a year off by sharing the total time to which both parents are entitled, according to the poll for job site Glassdoor.

But Jeremy Davies, of think tank the Fatherhood Institute, claimed fear of losing money and status were the reasons many fathers feel compelled to stay in the office rather than an unwillingness to undertake child care.

Mr Davies said: “Pay is the main factor. We know that for men to take advantage of these sort of things they need to be able to afford to do so.

“Is status anxiety an issue? Yes. You’ve got to feel confident that if you do this it’s not going to mess your career up.”

Nearly half of men surveyed (42 per cent) admitted they would rather take the minimum period allowed after the birth of their child, while only one in four agreed new parents should divide leave evenly. A little over one in 10 (12 per cent) said they would take the maximum leave allowed, a move which could see mothers going back to work after just two weeks.

However, attitudes to taking time off after a baby do to appear to be changing. The Glassdoor poll of 2,000 employed men and women under the age of 50 found one in three men aged 18 to 24 are in favour of greater equality, compared with one in five men aged 45 and above.

Income also had a bearing. Among couples who each earned £40,000 to 50,000 a year, 16 per cent of men would take the maximum amount of leave. The figure fell to 13 per cent for couples with a combined income under £80,000, while couples on salaries of less than £10,000 each, only seven per cent of men were prepared to be stay-at-home fathers.

Glassdoor claims the new rules could cost employers more than £17 million in the first year alone, despite a potentially low level of expected take-up by men. It says up to 285,000 men may be eligible to take advantage of the change in the law that requires employers to offer statutory shared parental leave and pay equal to £138.18 a week or 90 per cent of the father’s salary, whichever is lower.

But Glassdoor’s claims contradict research by outsourcing firm ADP.

It found that a third of workers within the age group most likely to have children intend to take advantage of the new rights to allow couples to share maternity leave and pay, following the first two weeks’ recovery period which mothers must take off immediately after birth.

Up to 50 weeks’ leave and 37 weeks of pay can be shared. Couples can take leave at the same time or separately.

But Mr Davies said: “There’s definitely room for improvement. We’d like to see something a bit more ambitious based on the Nordic model. Men would be given their own automatic paternity leave which would be lost to family if he didn’t take it, and it would have to be paid at a decent rate, the current level is less than the minimum wage.”

This article is taken from The Telegraph

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