Welcome to the Oxondads Blog: June 2014

Monday 30 June 2014

Guide to Teething Symptoms and Remedies

Your extra-cranky baby could be showing teething symptoms. Learn what to look for and find the best teething remedies for little mouths.

When will your baby's first pearly white start to poke through? Most babies get their first tooth at around 6 months, but your child's chompers may appear as early as 3 months or as late as 14, depending on such factors as when Mom and Dad started sprouting teeth and whether or not your baby was a preemie (preemies tend to teethe on the late side). How babies experience teething can vary widely, too. Some have teething symptoms—such as excessive drooling and crankiness—weeks before a tooth actually emerges, while others show no signs at all.

Baby-tooth timeline

Typically, babies get their teeth in pairs. First come the middle two on the bottom. A month or so later, the two above those arrive. Still, it's not uncommon to see a baby with four bottom and no upper teeth, or the reverse. A general timeline:

6 months: lower central incisors
8 months: upper central incisors
10 months: lower and upper lateral incisors
14 months: first molars
18 months: canines
24 months: second molars

Signs of teething

Short of actually seeing a tooth poking through, and given that the process is different for every baby, some possible symptoms to watch for:

The need to gnaw

The pressure of an emerging tooth beneath the gums may be relieved by counterpressure, so teething babies often want to chomp on things. The chewing instinct may also be a response to the odd sensation that something's going on in there.

Puffy gums

Before a new tooth erupts, it can cause a red, swollen and bruised-looking area on a baby's gums. Sometimes the gum bulges with the emerging tooth, which you can see faintly beneath the skin (if you can convince your baby to open his mouth for long enough).

Excessive drooling

Increased spittle can herald a new tooth—but it's also a normal developmental stage of infancy, so don't assume that drooling means teething. There's no way to tell whether your baby's saliva is the result of teething or not, though it may be if you also see...

Fussiness, especially at night

Tooth eruption—when the tooth moves through the bone and gum—tends to come in stages, with more activity at night than during the day, so your baby may be more irritable then.

Ear pulling

While it can also be a sign of an ear infection, tugging can be a symptom of teething: The pain from the jaw gets transferred to the ear canal.

A change in eating habits

Babies who are eating solids may want to nurse or bottle-feed more because a spoon irritates their inflamed gums. Others may do the opposite, eating more than usual because the counterpressure feels good. And babies who are still on the bottle or breast may begin feeding eagerly but pull back because the activity of sucking puts uncomfortable pressure on the gums and ear canals.

Ways to soothe the pain

You may need to try a few methods to see what works best for your child:

A wet, frozen washcloth(leave one end dry so she can get a good grip)

The thick fabric feels good, and the icy cold numbs sore gums. A teething toy that's been chilled in the refrigerator also works, but frozen toys may be too harsh on an infant's sensitive gums.

"My daughter, Eliza, loved to mouth the rail of her crib, so to protect her teeth and the crib, I covered the rail with soft plastic strips she could chomp on to her heart's content."

-- Maura Rhodes, Montclair, NJ

Massage

If the tooth is still deep in the gum and hasn't formed a painful bruise, counterpressure or friction where it's about to erupt can work wonders. Try rubbing the area with your clean finger (bare or wrapped in a washcloth).

Pain Reliever

Acetaminophen and ibuprofen are good bets for temporary pain relief, as are topical oral anesthetics, as long as you don't exceed the recommended dosage.

Distraction

Teething pain is like headache pain—it causes chronic, low-grade discomfort. You can often soothe your child simply by getting her mind off the pain. Give her more one-on-one time or offer her a new toy. And don't underestimate the healing power of touch: A little extra cuddling on the sofa may be all that's needed to take a child's mind off her mouth.

Teething tricks you shouldn't try

Hard foods like zwieback crackers, toasted or frozen bagels, carrots and frozen bananas. They may appeal to a baby's intense urge to chew, but when gnawed on long enough they can come apart in choke-hazardous chunks.
Rubbing a little brandy on swollen gums. Even tiny amounts of alcohol can be poisonous to a baby.

When to call the doctor

Because some signs of teething may actually be signs of illness, call if symptoms worsen (for instance, a low-grade fever reaches 101° F or higher) or linger for more than a couple of days. Same goes if no teeth have come in by 15 months, in which case your pediatrician may want you to take your child to a dentist for an x ray.

The teething process lasts about two years, but after the first few teeth come in, the process tends to be much less painful. (Experts aren't sure why that is—it could be that babies get used to what teething feels like over time.) Once the first tooth appears, try to start cleaning it twice a day by rubbing gently with a washcloth. Whatever you do, don't put your baby to bed with a bottle or nurse him to sleep once his teeth come in, since he's now prone to cavities. This may be a tough time for your baby (and you), but with a little help, he'll have a lifetime of happy smiles.

This article is from Parenting.com

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Getting Children Cooking Part 2

Basic skills for under fives

Being able to cook is a great skill to have. And whilst it can sometimes feel like a chore to adults, it's an exciting and fun activity for children. Start by teaching your child these basic cooking skills, and with a little patience, you could soon having a budding chef in the family.

Buttering a slice of bread
Cracking eggs by tapping the centre of the egg over the rim of a small bowl, and then using thumbs to pull the two halves apart
Decorating fairy cakes or biscuits – spreading on the icing butter or just adding the sprinkles and toppings
Kneading and rolling out dough using a rolling pin
Cutting shapes out using cookie cutters
Using a sieve – by holding it over a larger bowl and gently shaking
Cutting soft fruit or vegetables, such as a banana, with a non sharp knife
Grating cheese – especially good if you’ve got a rotary grater
Crushing biscuits for bases or non cook chocolate recipes – in a plastic bag with a rolling pin
Rubbing in butter and flour for crumble.
Crushing garlic in a garlic press
Greasing and lining cake tins
Mashing bananas with the back of a fork for banana bread/cake
Mashing potato with a potato masher
Peeling vegetables with a vegetable peeler

Tips on cooking with your children

Choose your recipes carefully

If your children are really young then choose something like easy biscuit recipes or a fresh fruit salad. Nothing that takes too long or is too involved. As children get older, they can concentrate for longer and you can move onto more complicated dishes and eventually entire meals.

Plan ahead

Make sure you have all the ingredients before you embark on a session in the kitchen. If you have the time, you can make a whole day out of a cooking activity. Involve your children in choosing a recipe, shopping for the ingredients, making the food and finally eating it. It’s amazing how children are more likely to eat foods that they have been involved in making.

Allow plenty of time

Don't think you can do anything quickly when you've got an under-aged helper in the kitchen. Things tend to take a long time and so don't squeeze a cooking session in between a toddler group and a doctor's appointment. You won't be doing your stress levels any favours.

Expect mess

You're going to have to expect some mess even with the neatest of children but once you're in that "messy frame of mind" it's easier to turn a blind eye to that layer of goo developing on your kitchen flour. You can always have a good clear up later ... after you've had a cup of tea with one of those delicious, newly-made biscuits.

Unless you have a full change of clothes handy, don't forget aprons for everyone!

So what animal is a sausage from Mum?

You might take it for granted that eggs are laid by chickens and that sugar, cocoa, rice and flour all come from plants but your children may be amazed to learn just where their food comes from, and how it is produced.

A trip to a local farmers market, farm shop or better still a farm where you can pick your own fruit and vegetables will also open their eyes to the variety of foods available in the UK. Use our Local Food page to find out where you can get locally produced food.

As they get older

Once your children are old enough to open the fridge and cupboard doors and hold a knife safely, you could encourage them to start preparing food for themselves (or even for you!). Just have a bit of confidence in them, try and ignore the mess, and let them try out some simple recipes which require little or no cooking. When they have finished their culinary creation, encourage them to help clear up too! Obviously younger children will need supervision and help, if using knives or the oven/microwave.

A five year old could be provided with sliced bread, a flat knife, a choice of spreads or toppings and make you a sandwich (wouldn’t that be nice on Mother's Day!). Or you could give them some different fruit juices to mix and make a ‘cocktail’.

Once they have mastered sandwich making, why not encourage them to help make their packed lunches for school? They could choose some of the ideas from our lunch box page. They might surprise you and choose something completely different to the normal lunch that you would make them.

Try getting them to make a fruit and yogurt layer pudding. Give the children a variety of whole fruits and some different fruit yogurts. Older children could prepare and chop the fruits themselves, while younger children will need help and supervisi

on or you could give them prepared fresh or tinned (drained) fruit instead. Let the children layer the fruits and yogurts in a glass or clear plastic bowl, so that they can make a pattern and see the layers. Experiment with different ingredients such as crushed biscuits, meringue or sponge cake at the bottom of the pudding. Decorate with sprinkles or crushed chocolate flake.

They could progress onto an easy no-cook cheesecake. A safer option is to melt the butter or margarine (for the base) in the microwave for a few seconds, rather than in a pan on the hob.

...and older

When you feel you can trust older children and teenagersto use the oven safely, they can have a go at making their own dinner. Let them impress their friends by inviting them round for a home cooked tea, such as pizza,burgers or a chilli.

If their friends survive the experience, let your kids try cooking a meal for the whole family once a week… so you can have an evening off!

Hopefully, by this stage, you will know that you have succeeded in producing a self-reliant young person, who will be able to fend for themselves when they leave home!

This article is from Netmums.com

Getting Children Cooking Part 1

The kitchen is the place where families can spend a lot of time together and where children can have fun, whether it is cooking, growing things, participating or even just watching. All children can learn through cooking and allowing them to help you will stimulate them and make them more interested in the end-result. But remember to ensure children are safe.

Try to avoid deep-frying as this is potentially the most dangerous of all cooking.
Check the heat of the oven door when it is at full blast. Some oven doors get very hot and children could be burned if they touch the door.
Use the back burners if you have small children and try to get into the habit of turning saucepan handles towards the back of the cooker rather than the front.
Don’t keep dangerous substances under the sink, but rather in a high cupboard unless you have childproof locks.
Avoid tripping or your children pulling themselves up on loose wires or dangling flexes.
Cut root vegetables into chunks and carve out a pattern or decoration on of the sides. This can be dipped into ink or paint and then printed on to paper
Pastry is fun as an edible play-dough. When you are making a pastry children can help you to shape, roll and decorate a pie, with leaves, apple shapes or balls.
Your children can also help you to make biscuits – they can mix the dough, roll it out, cut it into shapes and finally decorate it at the end.
Let all your children participate – if you make them feel they can do it, they will acquire confidence. Smaller children could, for instance, sieve flour and sugar into a bowl for a cake and then help you to mix it into a liquid. Your older children could help you with chopping grating or slicing or they could also help you with weighing ingredients.
You could also get your children to top their own homemade pizzas with a variety of toppings.
Children could also help with laying the table and helping you with the washing up afterwards.
Growing things are fun – mustard and cress are the easiest to grow. Let your children sow the seeds on a damp base (blotting or kitchen paper) in a container and sprinkle water on it daily. Do this for about a week and growth should be visible.
Beansprouts can be used in salads once they have sprouted. To grow sprouts, put a couple of tablespoons of dried beans, (not red kidney beans though) peas or lentils into an empty jam jar, rinse with water and put a piece of J-cloth over the top securing with an elastic band. Store in a warm dark place and rinse the beans daily. After about five days the beans will have germinated and sprouted.
Avocado stones can be set over water until they shoot. Children can also put parsnip or pineapple tops in a saucer with water and see how they develop roots and shoots.
If you have a garden, children can grow some vegetables by themselves. Radishes are easy and they grow fast.

This article is from Familylives.org.uk

Establishing a Bedtime Routine

Why children need sleep and parents need to set a routine

It's nine o' clock and your seven-year-old is still refusing to go to bed. Or she has gone to bed and is now on the landing - again.

If, like many parents, you struggle to maintain regular bedtimes you can take some comfort in not being alone: one in three children does not have a regular bedtime.

How does this impact on family life? You rarely have any time alone with your partner, so you end up texting each other the next day about everything you forgot to discuss the night before, and your child goes to school feeling very tired and grumpy.

But longer term, a disorderly home life contributes significantly to under achievement, because children fail to learn that organisation and planning are part of the requirements for success - as well as being unable to stay awake in lessons!

Apart from the obvious fact that your child can be too tired to learn, a disorganised home life establishes a pattern which, according to Dr Pat Spungin, a child psychologist, impacts on a child's ability to plan homework and have good time management.

Tired children can be a disruptive influence in a class. It only takes one or two children in a class of 30 to create havoc.

There are some parents who believe that children will go to bed when they are tired. But what often happens is that these children end up so tired - who wants to go to bed when it's much more fun being with the grown ups - that they cat-nap during the day. This might be endearing when a four-year-old suddenly flops and has a nap mid-afternoon in the corner of the lounge, but it's not fun for anyone if they doze off during a lesson on phonics.

So what happens in your house? Off to bed sharp at 8pm, or still running around at 10pm? Julia, who has established a routine, describes what happens in her house.

"We have a bedtime routine which isn't completely fixed in stone but my daughters, aged 7 and 11, don't like it if they do not have reading time. My partner Dan and I take turns when possible to do bedtimes. The girls get into their pyjamas, we read together, they clean their teeth, snuggle in, then we sing a particular song to each (Dan and I have a special song each for each child). On the very rare occasion there are any problems or arguments about going to bed, they have lost reading time, which they hate. They both sleep until 7am. Without sleep, they are very grumpy!"

Alice, who has three children aged seven, five and two, agrees that parents have to be strict about bedtimes. "What works for us is no backing down. We got them used, at a very early age, to going to bed. If they got up they were put back to bed - silently, no chatting, no discussion, don't engage them, just take them by the hand back to bed. Don't give in if they cry or beg- and there is no negotiation. At first it takes persistence but then after just a few weeks, their behaviour pattern is set and it's really worth it."

It sounds quite easy- but just to make sure, I asked Kids' Coach Naomi Richards for her advice, which shows that Julia and Alice are doing the right thing.

"If your child gets out of bed then you need to sit outside their door and when they come out coax them back into bed without too much conversation. To avoid the tantrums you can get them to add in their thoughts about bedtime – would they perhaps like to play a game before bed, make up stories with you, read a book together. Bedtime needs to be calm and relaxing and enjoyable. When bedtime is fun, your child will want to please you and go to bed."

So the answer to organised bedtimes it seems is be prepared for some pain initially, but persevere. You'll not only be helping your child's education, but teaching them, as Dr Spungin explained, "Life lessons, by covert means."

Article by Glynis Kozma from Parentdish.co.uk

Tuesday 24 June 2014

Being a Good Divorced Dad Means Not Giving Up On Your Kids

Most divorced fathers want to spend as much time as possible with their children but oftentimes, for a variety of reason, feel they can’t.

Being a “Good Divorced Dad” oftentimes depends on how much time a father is able to commit to their children.

It’s one of the topics I address in detail in my new book, which comes out this Spring, “How to be a Good Divorced Dad: Preventing the Divorce Process and Its After effects from Hurting Your Relationship with Your Children.”

Sometimes, the causes that prevent divorced fathers from becoming good dads have to do with the provisions of the divorce agreement, limiting the time they can spend with their children. Other times, the factors involve personal hurt or lack of self-esteem caused by the divorce. You may be a father physically but not in the spirit that allows you to put the strength and time into it that is required.

In many cases, divorced dads accept a restricted role that is often imposed on them by these circumstances.

But you can change that and you can be a great divorced dad who becomes a role model for your children for years to come.

My book walks fathers through the process of identifying the obstacles that prevent divorced fathers from protecting their relationship with their children.

I call them the Seven Deadly Sins of failed divorced fatherhood. They are: the terms of the custody agreement; orders of protection; financial problems; legal trickery; gender bias; guilt; and anger.

In each instance, there is a strategy to improve the amount of time you spend with your children and to improve the quality of that time.

For example, in the case of having to live under the terms of a very restrictive custody agreement, you can become available to your ex-wife to assist her by being there to help with the children. Too often, the personal animosity that results from many divorces prevents this, but your children need you.

You have to watch for opportunities when your ex-spouse will need help with the children and be there to take advantage of the opportunities. And you have to strategically think about how you approach this, not feed into the anger.

You may be hurt about the divorce. Your ex-wife may be a vengeful person. You need to control your own emotions for the benefit of your children. Why allow your former spouse’s anger to impact your relationship with your children?

A good lawyer will also be able to help with the language in your custody agreement to facilitate opportunities to increase contact with your children. They can be built into the agreement.

In each of these challenges you will want to insure that the time spent with your children is quality time. You need to work on that, but there are methods to help you do that. Planning your time with your children will vastly improve the relationship.

Having a competent, experienced attorney at your side will help avoid many of these challenges, such as avoiding an order of protection that is based on false allegations against you. Many father are coerced by guilt and a gender-biased system into believing that they must admit to fault when there is none.

My book has a list of questions divorced dads can answer to help make them stronger and more effective divorced dads. Knowing them. Thinking about them. And answering them will help improve your experience with your children.

The point is don’t give up. Control the process of divorce in order to control your relationship. And make sure your rights are properly represented when you begin the divorce.

By Jeffery M. Leving, taken from BDGParenting.com

What is a healthy balanced diet for children?

As a dad are you confused as to what to give your child to eat? Are you tempted to spoil the kids by going to fast food restaurants all the time?

As either the main carer or the weekend dad cooking may seem like a real challenge, especially if you are not used to it. Don’t worry though, there is no reason for you to rush out and take cooking lessons.

There is no doubt that food home-cooked, from scratch is the best. Often the worst chore isn’t the cooking itself, it’s trying to decide what to eat every night. If so, a two week rota of favourite convenient meals could be the way to plan things.

Don’t worry about taking some shortcuts. Buy in some jars of ready-made sauces, which can quickly transform simple ingredients. Although these have some unnecessary sugars, once in a while they won’t hurt and they are better than reaching for the take-away menu.

Even a take-away every now and then isn’t a problem. Once a week might be too often, both financially and nutritionally, but how about every month? This makes it a really good treat and something to look forward too.

Try and be time efficient. For instance if you are making pasta with tomato sauce, make double and then use the sauce in a chicken casserole for tomorrow or for the pizza base you are making on Saturday.

Poach some salmon in the oven and have cold in sandwiches or in a pasta salad or make fish cakes or a fish pie.

Cooking does not have to be time consuming or an effort, just try to think ahead a bit. The children will love cooking and may even get involved and be encouraged to experiment.

If you are a person who is organised in the morning think about getting a slow cooker. You can throw everything in first thing and by evening the dinner is cooked. You can even cook double and freeze.

Don’t be afraid of spices and herbs. There is nothing worse than bland food. Use mixed herbs, bay leaves, fennels seeds and chuck them in the sauce and simmer. Add black pepper to those roast potatoes and use cumin and coriander when making a curry. Ginger and garlic are good for stir fry which is another very simple meal to prepare.

Remember it is important that you are giving your children a balanced diet. Toddlers typically have low iron intakes and many have a low vitamin A intake. Vitamin A is found in fruit and vegetables and iron is found in primarily red meats. Iron is found in other sources such as lentils, beans, fish, chicken but for to be best absorbed really benefits from being eaten with vitamin C. So the more fruit and vegetables are eaten the better!

About the Author:

Sarah Scotland holds a BSc (Hons) in Nutrition, Exercise and Health. she is an associate member of the Nutrition Society , and also belongs to ASO - Association for the study of obesity, SENSE (self employed nutritionists, support and enlightenment), and Sustain. http://www.wiseaboutfood.co.uk/

This article is taken from Dad.info

Young children comfort eat when they are anxious

Rows, bullying and illness drive kids as young as five to snack on unhealthy food.

Young children comfort eat when they're anxious, it has been found.

An obesity conference heard that rows at home, bullying and illness all drive children as young as five to seek solace in unhealthy, sugar-filled snacks.

Belgian researchers asked more than 300 children, aged between five and 10, questions about stressful life events, such as the divorce of their parents or the death of a grandparent, and how angry, anxious, sad and happy they felt.

Bullying, problems with friends and rows with brothers and sisters were also factored in.

The parents also filled in a questionnaire about how often their children ate various foods, while the children explained when they felt driven to eat particular foods.

The results showed that the more stressful a child's life, the more sweet foods they ate.

Researcher Nathalie Michels, of Ghent University, told the European Congress on Obesity in Sofia, Bulgaria: "Parents and children should be made aware that stress can influence emotional eating behaviour, so they can pay attention to potential triggers and anticipate this behaviour.

"Furthermore, children should be equipped with stress-coping skills, such as problem-solving or asking for help, instead of seeking solace in food."

Tam Fry of the National Obesity Forum, said: "From the moment that an infant is born it learns that sweetness brings comfort.

"It should therefore be of no surprise that it is sophisticated enough, even by age five, to know that it'll feel better about some unhappy event having eaten a chocolate biscuit or something sugary.

"After all, that's what mummy does and parents are role models and copied.

"Mummy, of course, should know better but most five-year-olds will lack the knowledge that indulgence food can be bad for you, and be habit forming, if not eaten in moderation.

"There's nothing wrong with the occasional sweet treat - but that's a far cry from comfort eating to relieve stress."

This article is By Keith Kendrick May 28, 2014 and taken from Parentdish.com