Friday 27 March 2015

27th March 2015 - Things To Do Over The Weekend, In & Around Oxfordshire











To find out what is on over the weekend via "Daily Info, Oxford" please click  HERE








To find out what is on over the weekend via "Oxford Mail " please click HERE



To find out what is on over the weekend via "Jack FM" please click HERE









We think this news story will be of interest to our visitors. However, please note it is from another source and does not necessarily represent the views of Oxondads.  If you would like to comment on this article please click on the "No Comments" below or alternatively E-Mail  info@oxondads.co.uk






Tuesday 17 March 2015

Sunday 15 March 2015

Friday 6 March 2015

6th March 2015 - Things To Do Over The Weekend, In & Around Oxfordshire








To find out what is on over the weekend via "Daily Info, Oxford" please click  HERE








To find out what is on over the weekend via "Oxford Mail " please click HERE



To find out what is on over the weekend via "Jack FM" please click HERE






We think this news story will be of interest to our visitors. However, please note it is from another source and does not necessarily represent the views of Oxondads.  If you would like to comment on this article please click on the "No Comments" below or alternatively E-Mail  info@oxondads.co.uk




10 Keys to Raising a Great Teenager


Contrary to many parents’ fears, the adolescent years can be the best, most rewarding and most vibrant phase of parenting.  Here are 10 keys to raising a great teenager:







  1. Under all the scowls and frowns, there’s your child
    As Dad, they need your attention and acknowledgement.  Spend time doing things they enjoy, and support them in their hobbies.  Take your teen to see their favorite team compete.  Spend time getting to know your teenager.  Teens need to feel they have a dad who is crazy about them.
  2. Let your love show.
    Don’t be alarmed when your child becomes a teenager – they’re not monsters!  All the love and affection they needed when they were younger, they still need now.  Loving your kid  means you need to find ways to express your love through your actions and words.  Don’t leave your teen wondering where you stand on them.
  3. Reinforce their faith.
    Young people need the rock-solid guidance of their faith to help them navigate our amoral culture.  Remind them that they are God’s, and God is their’s, and to always live accordingly.
  4. Don’t talk at your teens. 
    With regards to correction, your teenagers don’t always need lectures.  There is a time for lectures, but when disciplining your teens, talk to them as adults.  The end-goal is a two-way conversation.
  5. Remember to listen. 
    This statement ties in with the one above.  When you listen to your teen, they feel empowered.  They feel that they have a voice.  Dads, that glazed look your teenager is giving you as you continue with your argument may mean that he doesn’t think you’ll ever listen to him.  Surprise him.
  6. Reinforce a standard within teens. 
    Children aren’t born knowing what’s right.  As they get older, teens are placed under more and more pressure to abandon the standards and morals given to them in their younger years.  As a dad, part of your responsibility is to remind them what they were taught in their younger years.  Reward them when they do good things, and discipline them when they have overstepped the boundaries.
  7. Get to know their friends
    Even if you don’t prefer some of your teens’ friends, avoid saying how you don’t like so and so.  Even if they look suspicious, try asking your teenager what they like about that person.  Teens want to choose their friends; they will look for friends that like what they like.  Also, share with your teenager the characteristics you do like about their friends and get to know their friends’ parents before you weigh in on the crowd your kids hang with.
  8. Offer your wisdom. 
    Being a dad, you automatically have a gift of wisdom because you lived just a bit longer than your teenagers.  Though they may never admit that you were right or that they don’t know everything, they do need your help, and more importantly they need your wisdom.  You are a source of wisdom in their lives.
  9. Help them stay focused. 
    Translation: “Keep your teens looking ahead.”  Help them find a balance between enjoying the immediate and looking towards the future.  It’s easy to forget the consequences of current choices made now.  Teach them the joy of delayed gratification.  Everything isn’t about the Friday night football games or Senior Prom.

  10. Challenge them. 
    The best way to wipe the bored look off your teenagers’ face is to do something that takes them out of their comfort zone.  Take them to a high ropes course and cheer them on, or complete the course with them.  Go camping.  Whitewater rafting.  Taking them out of their comfort zone will really increase their horizon and their bond with you.



This article is taken from AllProDad.com




We think this news story will be of interest to our visitors. However, please note it is from another source and does not necessarily represent the views of Oxondads.  If you would like to comment on this article please click on the "No Comments" below or alternatively E-Mail  info@oxondads.co.uk

Stepfamily house rules and boundaries .. how to blend family life successfully in stepfamilies






Stepfamily house rules and boundaries

When you become part of a stepfamily you’ll quickly realise that children have minds of their own. The children may get along famously with their step relatives and happily relate to both their birth parents. Sooner or later virtually every stepparent will hear the words “You can’t tell me what to do, you’re not my Mum/Dad!”  Children in stepfamilies can direct an enormous amount of anger at stepparents. They may also play one parent off against the other, refuse to see a non-resident parent or take out their anger on the parent with whom they mostly live. It is important to try and understand how they see the situation. Parents often assume their wishes and needs will be the same as their children. Stepparents often struggle if they came in to the relationship with expectations that are rapidly shattered. It is natural for stepfamilies to clash over issues like routines, boundaries, discipline and general behaviour.
stepfamily house rules

Why do children and adults have a different view of the situation?

Adults and children in a stepfamily have a very different view of what is going on. For a start, it is the adults who make all the decisions. It is the adults who are in charge of leaving one family unit and forming a new one. Indeed, the original separation or the new stepfamily could have come about because of the decision of another adult. But however much adults may consider they are in control, this is nothing to how the children are likely to feel.
Children often feel like they have no say. They do, however, often feel they have responsibility. Children will feel guilt over a break up, convinced it happened because they did or didn’t do something, were too naughty, or not good enough. Once parents have separated, children can feel responsible for looking after one or both parents and perhaps see it as their job to bring them back together again. A new adult will be seen as a threat and a new family may be seen as proof of their failure, either to reconcile their parents or to be a good enough carer.

Why do children in stepfamilies show hostility?

This is why children in a stepfamily often hit out, verbally and even physically. Saying, or implying “You can’t tell me what to do…” may be a specific attack against the new adult and what their presence means. Children may feel that one way to keep the link with a missing parent or try to maintain the link between their two parents with them as a bridge, would be to refuse any emotional tie with the new adult. Even if they like the new partner as getting on with them feels like disloyalty and they may fear a breakdown in relationship between themselves and their other parent.

How to react when children say “You can’t tell me what to do”

“You can’t tell me what to do…” is usually a general complaint. It actually says “My family has broken up, a new situation is being forced upon me and I protest!” It isn’t personal and isn’t a reaction against the new circumstances which may indeed in many ways be better than the old one. It’s simply a way of registering pain and loss and needs to be accepted as such.
Firstly, acknowledge the pain and loss underneath the statement. You can say “It must be sad seeing your family break up. I can see it’s upsetting you.” Simply acknowledging the emotions underneath behaviour often makes a difference. Since bad behaviour is always a way of getting your needs and emotions recognised, knowing they have been heard can lessen or stop the behaviour.
Secondly, make it clear that when it comes to keeping rules or being polite or any other transaction in this family, it doesn't happen because it’s a parent/child relationship but because it’s a household relationship. In other words, an adult doesn’t have to be a parent to merit being listened to and being polite to. Nor, indeed, does a child have to be related to the adult for them to be caring and respectful of their needs and feelings. If you live together, you owe each other this courtesy, regardless of how you feel about the situation. Keeping to the ground rules to make the wheels go round at least gives you the space and time to attend to the reasons you may feel angry, let down or upset about the situation. 

Why it’s important to have ground rules

If you haven't already, make time to sit down as a family and draw up and agree a set of ground rules.  Ask everyone to contribute at least one rule each and agree the consequences too. Once you have done so, agree a contract between all of you, keep to it and review it as needed. The ground rules are family rules, not just for the children and explaining this to them might help them to buy into this more. If you want children to interact well, consider the statements below:
  • Model what you want, it is not a case of “do as I say, not as I do” but “I’ll do to you what I’d like from you”.
  • Recognise bad behaviour is about bad feelings.
  • Listen, acknowledge and understand the reason behind their behaviour. That helps the behaviour go away far better than reacting to it, punishing it or complaining about it.

Why it’s important to help children be positive about the non-resident parent

It can be seen as reassuring by the adults looking after a child if s/he refuses to speak to or see the missing parent. They may feel this is a vote of confidence and an endorsement of the new stepfamily. Sometimes children enthusiastically support the new adult, to the extent of wanting to take on a new name or call the stepparent Mum or Dad. If there is still anger or conflict between exes, the child’s choosing of sides can be greeted with relief and seen as their approval. It may not, however, be as positive a move as you think.
Children may feel they have good reason not to see or speak to a missing parent. If they have been let down and left feeling unvalued by that parent, they may need to have their feelings about the way their parent has behaved towards them listened to and heard. They may need your support in putting their own point of view but it does have to be theirs not yours.

How not to draw children in to adult battles

Children really need the adults looking after them to be able to be grown up and fight their own battles. If you have an issue with another adult, say so yourself to them and sort it out between you. Don’t let children get drawn into the situation and do it for you. Children often will attack one parent because they want to please the other. It may feel very frightening to have had one parent leave. The unsettling experience of having a new adult arrive may make them feel they have to do anything to make sure the other doesn't go too.  Children do need contact with both parents and do need to feel loved and accepted by them. Instead of feeling vindicated when they take against a parent, better to support them in making and keeping good relations. You may need to ask them to talk over why they don’t want to see the other person, and not to take some explanations on face value. They may be trying to cut off a parent who they see as withdrawing from them, in the belief that if they say no first the separation will hurt less. They may be doing it to get back at the parent, to give them a taste of their own medicine. Anger and pain are good reasons to talk, not good reasons to refuse to talk. Help the child examine and explore the situation. You may ask them to consider and express:
  • Their feelings
  • What they want
  • How you might help them achieve it

How to set and keep to boundaries

Children benefit enormously from having adults looking after them who can say no and can restrict them. Having adults compete in allowing those boundaries to stretch can make them feel increasingly vulnerable and uncertain. Parents and stepparents may give in to the demands out of guilt and a desire to make it better for the child. Giving in to demands feels as if it makes up for the loss of their original family. Parents may also do it out of their own need to be loved best. Particularly when you have emerged from a relationship break up, the desire to be needed and approved can make it hard to be the grown up and put your own needs aside.
In the long run, nobody benefits from a popularity contest. If you win the children lose, and if the children lose so do you. What all of you need is for adults to be truly adult; to be able to stand back from the conflict, the confusion and pain and to act in the best interests of the child. This may mean recognising how much co-operation is necessary between parents and stepparents. It may mean recognising when and how your own wishes and needs differ from those of the children, and what efforts need to be made to compromise so everyone gets what they need. It may need asking for help so you can set aside your own arguments with other adults in the situation so you can agree on how to do the best for the children.


This article is taken from FamilyLives.org.uk

We think this news story will be of interest to our visitors. However, please note it is from another source and does not necessarily represent the views of Oxondads.  If you would like to comment on this article please click on the "No Comments" below or alternatively E-Mail  info@oxondads.co.uk





Pencil & Paper Games to keep them Occupied !




8 fun pencil and paper games for kids (+ printables!)

Fun, simple pencil and paper games will keep kids occupied at the restaurant, doctor’s office, in the car, on rainy days and more.



Photo: iStockphoto

No fast food on this outing. Tonight you’ve taken your kids to a restaurant, made your selections from a menu you can actually hold in your hands and now you’re waiting for the food to arrive. And waiting. And waiting.
Want to keep your restless, hungry children from becoming completely miserable? Melisande Neal, mom of four, always keeps a stash of pencils and paper in her purse for just these emergencies.
Start simple, advises Neal. When her kids were at the younger range of this age group, she taught them tic-tac-toe. As her children’s skills increased, she added other, more challenging games. This list should give you some ideas the next time you’re waiting at the dentist’s office, in an airport, in the car…
CategoriesDraw a grid on a piece of paper—a square filled with smaller squares. The number of squares can vary, depending on the attention span of your child. Down the left side, put some letters of the alphabet (for example, you could spell out a child’s name: LISA). Across the top, write categories —for example, girls’ names, boys’ names, animals, colours, cars, places. You can make this harder or easier by changing the categories. Players take turns writing in words that fit the category and start with the letter in the left-hand column. (Next to the letter L, in this example, you might have Laura, Liam, lion, lavender, Lexus and Labrador.) Give extra points for words that nobody else thought of.
BattleshipFor two players. Here’s another popular game you can play without the official version. All you need is graph paper. Each player needs two grids. Label each grid by writing numbers across the top and letters down the side, so that the squares are easily identified as A8 or F5. One grid will be for locating your own ships, the other for recording shots against your opponent’s ships. Each player places three or four “ships” on his grid, then let the guessing begin. The first person to sink all the other person’s ships wins.
HangmanMost people know how to play the traditional version of Hangman. But what about kids who aren’t yet master spellers?
Neal plays a variation suitable for pre-writers. “We play it like 20 Questions—I would think of something, and my son would have to think of yes-or-no questions to guess what it was,” she says. “Each time he got a no answer, I’d add another part to the Hangman figure.”
Dots and SquaresBegin by drawing a grid of dots on the paper. Using lined paper or graph paper can make this a little easier. The first person draws a line connecting two dots beside each other. The second player then draws another line to connect another two dots. The goal is to be the person who draws the last side of a square. Then you put your initials inside the square (or some other abbreviation to claim your square). In some versions of this game, if you complete a square you get another turn. The player with the most squares when all the squares are drawn is the winner.
SproutsIf you can’t quite master drawing a neat grid of dots, you might find this game easier. Draw dots randomly all over the paper. The first player draws a line between any two dots, and draws another dot in the middle of that line. The next player draws a line between any two dots, and puts a dot in the middle of that line. No lines may cross each other, but they don’t have to be straight, so they can loop around other lines. Only three lines in total can emerge from any one dot. The dots put in the middle of the lines already have two lines connecting them to the two other dots, so they can only have one more line. The game continues until no more lines can be drawn. The person who did the last line is the winner.
FoldoversGive everyone a piece of paper. On the top section, draw a head. It can be an animal head or a person’s head, as weird as you like. Now fold that section back, so that it’s hidden, and slide it across the table to the next person. Without looking at the hidden drawing, the next person draws a chest and arms (of a person, animal, alien), folds it back as well and passes it on to the next person. Without looking at the previous pictures, that person draws a body (stomach and hips) and the final person draws the legs and feet. (You can have more or fewer sections depending on the number of people you have playing.) Finally, unfold your papers and laugh at the weird creatures you have created.
Why? Because.Each person writes down a question beginning with why (for example, Why do dogs bark?). Adults can help with the writing for children who find this difficult. Fold the top over to hide the question, and pass to the next person who, without looking at the question, writes an answer starting with Because (for example, Because chocolate tastes good). Then read out all the questions and answers.
Building WordsFor players who can read and spell. The first person writes down a letter. The next person adds a letter, and must have a word in mind. The next player adds another letter, again working towards spelling out a word. Next player adds another letter, and so on, until nobody can add another letter. If you think the other player doesn’t have a word in mind, you can challenge him, and if he can’t tell you the word, he’s out.



This article is taken from Today's Parent.com


We think this news story will be of interest to our visitors. However, please note it is from another source and does not necessarily represent the views of Oxondads.  If you would like to comment on this article please click on the "No Comments" below or alternatively E-Mail  info@oxondads.co.uk