Twelve to Eighteen Months
This was a lovely phase for me as a Dad. Finally I felt confident that I wasn’t going to break my little son in half if I cuddled him - and he seemed to have separated himself from his mum’s breast for long enough periods to decide that I was ok too!
Developing Independence
This was the bit where the baby becomes more of a person...moving a lot more and having more of a drive towards independence. Still, it was just like your average teenager... it is only when it suits him/her to be capable, but at other times s/he definitely wants to be a baby.
One minute s/he is clingy and attention-seeking and you feel like a superhero - and the next s/he objects when you try to do anything for her/him and you feel as if you’ve been outgrown!
There is nowhere to hide your own worries and stresses as a parent; they will creep out of the woodwork. What do I mean? Well, how you feel about this stage will be directly affected by your attitudes to your child’s independence... and that will be affected by your own childhood or life experiences. If you are looking forward to him/her growing up then it is exciting. If you are fearful about the future (negative thoughts about the teenaged years, for example) or if your own life hasn’t been as good to you as it could have been (feeling that the world is a scary place for your child and you are no good as a Dad and will not be able to give them a good start), then each gathering sign of independence will be something to squash. Sometimes being a Dad is about getting counselling so you can put your own “skeletons” to death and go forwards with hope and energy.
Mums need us to remind them too, that our kids will grow up and move on and blossom and that all will be well........independence in a child can be toughest for the person who does most of the care. If you are a stay-home Dad, it may be worse for you too.........fill your thinking with positive views of the future for your child and promise yourself that you will seek any help you need to give them a great start in life....this way you can be a shining beacon of encouragement for your toddlers independence even from early on!
New / Challenging Behaviour
Also....There's nothing subtle about your toddler's behaviour right now. If s/he feels you aren't paying her /him sufficient attention, s/he may physically try to turn your face towards her/him.
S/he says 'No' a lot, and challenges you often and yet still desperately wants to please you.
The temper tantrums may start here and there is no logical thought yet or concept of time (‘I will help you in a minute’ is as much a foreign language to her/him as your MS/DOS handbook is to me!)
It is too early to cultivate any interest in motor racing...but it is now fun to press the button on the telly, to turn it OFF...during the last lap!
This can be a bit of a challenging period so don’t put away your parental patience yet!
Physical Changes
Over the next year, you will see your toddler's body proportions change bit by bit as s/he adapts to walking - which is the new obsession. One of mine refused to go in a pushchair as soon as she learnt to walk and it became a really painful, slow process to go anywhere. I once spent an entire annual leave day walking less than one mile to town, going into two shops and getting home. Particular low point, when I got hungry and wrestled her into a pushchair to get to a cafe, whilst she screamed as if I was abducting her, and a Grandmother in ‘BOOTS’ scowled at me offered me the advice “why don’t you let her have a little walk, young man?”
This is where you find out that you are a neurotic parent in fact....it is the time for stumbles and falls, and practising new climbing skills which will have your heart in your mouth however laid back you think you are! A little neurosis is protective, so make sure s/he is strapped in that high-chair or it will be a first attempt at bungee! Lock cupboards, containers or trunks that s/he could climb into and move bleach and booze into high up cupboards!
Your local casualty dept will see enough of you over the years and I know from experience that it is not the place for a fun day out!
Weight gain slows - s/he looks slimmer and longer. This is the year of the disappearance of the over-sized head, the funny bowed legs and the round tummy! It is when you discover that under those lovely chins there is in fact a neck! As your toddler's weight gain slows, s/he may not be as hungry as she used to be. The digestive system continues to mature, allowing her/him to eat most foods with the family. Sadly, and rather cruelly I always think, this is the time that the teeth are coming in thick and fast so it often hurts to chew!
Movin’ and Groovin’!
Your toddler's motor control makes leaps in this six month phase. There are all sorts of games to play that centre around this increase in skills.
Around a year most babes are really on the move crawling, shuffling or walking. Lots of babes can stand while holding on to something and in the next 6 months most toddlers will learn to walk confidently.
Suddenly arms and hands have quite a bit of control and it continues to improve. Your little trooper learns to feed themselves, although s/he will still make a mess for a few months (or years!)
You are under constant threat of a stray left hook, or a missile from the highchair, as s/he can throw things...................... but not very accurately!
Games I Played a Lot
Encouraging grand feats such as carrying fairly large objects whilst walking. My favourite ruse here was to put a pile of teddies at one end of the room and a picnic at the other end and sit back and drink my coffee whilst he ferried the bears to the picnic. Intermittent praise was enough to get him through the task and me through the coffee! Same effect by moving cars over to a home-made ramp, for my vehicle-obsessed daughter. Advantage here, you get to join them and the teddies/cars to eat the picnic.............and teddies have no mouths! This is a lovely one to use if you see your kids in a contact centre, as you can do it anywhere and it ends in lunch or a snack together!
Bending down to pick up small items. I used to make a mini assault course with cushions to clamber over and play tunnels to wriggle through, with a trail of small objects to be picked up and put into a bucket which is then carried along the trail to the end. This was a huge favourite and had the added advantage that once it was set up, older siblings and even friendly family dogs can join in. Praise all attempts and never notice if he/she reverts to hands and knees - especially for climbing up and down stairs or over uneven surfaces.
Throwing a ball or rolling a ball from child to adult can start towards the end of this phase...but do not expect too much-it is a little early for a cricketer to show themselves yet! Choose a large inflatable/soft ball and make the distance to roll or throw very short and direct. The ball can get smaller and the distance longer throughout the next four or so years...with kicking and all manner of bats, rackets and sticks being added to string this activity out for the rest of the lives of most boys and many girls!
Talking Yet?
Your toddler's vocabulary is increasing rapidly, but s/he still understands much more than he can say.
At 15 months, s/he will probably use a few (2-6) recognisable words in the correct context. S/he communicates what they want by pointing, babbling or shouting. By the end of this phase (i.e. 18 months) s/he is generally making speech-like sounds while s/he play and may gather around twenty words.
This makes it ideal to play “Point-and-name” start with the things that your child shows an interest in (e.g. “baby” or “tractor” or “dog”) using one word phrases. As time moves on, and s/he is repeating some of the words, move to phrases of several words “oh look, a tractor”....Aaaah there’s a baby..”
This should not replace other speech as your toddler-person needs to hear the rise and fall of voice tone in your everyday chatter to her/him as well.
It is too early to move on to point out details of the thing you point at really...keep it simple!!!
When you can tell that your toddler enjoys learning the names of objects, towards 18 moths, ask them to hand you some familiar object, and he/she will start to do so.
At some point along the way (maybe now or nearer to two years, s/he learns to point to body parts or items of clothing, as you name them. When s/he wants something they will point and may name it, which makes your life a lot lot easier, until you have to say no......
The beginning of conversation with your little one:Talk to them as much as you can. Simple songs and nursery rhymes are popular and s/he may try to join in or copy the things that you say.
I hate to hear parents correcting their kids’ pronunciation at this age-just smile and repeat the word correctly but show that you understand what your little chap/ess is saying to you. Gradually, the child will correct their own pronunciation....and it is so cute if they have a few words that are not quite as they should be! One of mine still has a few quirky words at 8!
Don’t get dragged into competition with friends who have babies the same age on this one - just share your little one’s pleasure in words and watch that vocabulary grow. This is just the start of a meteoric growth of language over the next few months. S/he’s gonna talk your socks off!
Waving is a good game at this point, and teaches a good social behaviour skill as well as improving hand co-ordination. Liven up a dreary day by taking a bus somewhere and people-watching and practising waving. Lots of admiring people as you look like super-Dad and your just-about-toddler looks adorable...added bonus if journey ends at Apple Store, sports shop, or burger bar!
“Drawing” is beginning to be a possibility now-in a sort of happy scribbly way. It strengthens hands and arms for later artistic escapades and improves hand-eye co ordination. However do not bother with extensive art materials at this stage as it can wear thin if an activity takes longer to set up than the child will enjoy it for..As their attention span is about a minute at this stage then I would stick to a pack of fat wax crayons and a large bit of paper sellotaped to the dining table in the morning so that you can return to it whenever the fancy takes!
Towards the 18 month end, play dough is good too...get a recipe off the internet and make it in three minutes. Home made has a very high salt content and tastes disgusting whereas shop bought is quite tasty I suggest, as it never lasted long in my house!! Do watch out just in case your little buddy actually LIKES the salt, as it is oh so very bad or them! My good friend discovered that nurses are not all that cheery if they have to put a drip in an otherwise healthy child who ate most of a pot of salt off the table (hint....do not do baking with very small children!)
Outdoor Play
Push-along walker toys are fab at this age, as are dolly pushchairs (for boys too-they love em!!) Avoid those awful baby-walker sit-in things though, I have heard of so many accidents amongst mates’ families in them. Also, my good friend Andy who’s a physio, informs me that they work totally the wrong muscles for learning to walk anyway. Save your money!
Outdoors is often quite appealing but still very high output as a parent. “Just-about-toddlers” like these fall over a lot which means a lot of dirty hands, and wet knees (Scouting-type Dads take wipes to the park!)
At this stage, they may still revert to crawling when tired which is a good starting place for eating worms and worse! Be very, very aware of animal faeces because it has some really awful bacteria which your little dude/dudes will not thrive well on!
Most play equipment in parks is still aimed at above this age (unless a specialised park) so you will need to be up on your feet and playing, climbing etc with them. No reading the newspaper or checking the scores on your phone!
Swings are a winner if they like them as they are a captive audience when in one. Adventurous types may not agree and if you have a partner at home, it will not be happy Daddy stories if you take your toddler home covered in The Red Stuff, after acting out James Bond leaping form a moving swing when you were having intimate moments with your I-phone!
I favour our garden at this age, to be honest, but maybe you are braver than me!
Basically, have your wits about you a lot and keep playtimes fairly short as they get tired very easily at this age and tired “just-about toddlers” are accident prone “just-about toddlers”! We Dads are notorious for expecting too much of our little guys and there’s plenty of time for long trips out in the future.........parenting is a long-term game!
Original article taken from dad.info
http://www.dad.info/kids/child-developement-and-play/twelve-to-eighteen-months
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